A Bit of Pride

17th May, 2013 @ 2:55 p. m

I was nervous, scared. I did not even waste a split second not praying to God that my hard work gets rewarded. In just a few moments my ICSE 2013 results would be declared at 3pm. But I was not alone. Thousands like me were getting the goose bumps, thousands like me with dreams held high. .

A few minutes later I logged on to cisce.ndtv.com with my index number. And lo! I discovered joy, heart-break and a little bit of sadness. My marks clearly satisfied my parents and my immediate relatives but stopped shortly before my expectations.

Frankly my English marks were my biggest disappointment. A 92 in English could not quench my thirst. Three years of hard work, dedication, love, and craziness for that subject yielded just a 92. Achieving a 95 was my goal but the ball was highly off-the-mark. Few could think that to what extent I went to reach my destination. Bombarding my teacher with endless doubts, reading up a plethora of topics and practicing, practicing and practicing. The list is endless. The 92 which I read on the screen seemed to be the most heart wrenching moment for me. I felt like crying. I was in the mood of destruction coupled with anger and disappointment. I wanted an explanation. But from whom? Who would be able to console me of what I have lost? But right then I was surrounded my merry making family who were extremely joyous over the fact that I had got 95.8% (which let me emphasize is a tremendous achievement). Essays were my playground. Prepositions my language. As You Like It was my forte and the poems my constant companions. But. . . . .  Disbelief embraced me and a feeling of jealousy gripped me (towards anyone who got more than me in English).

Moving the rest of the marks pretty much seemed to give me a smile. Hindi is an exception. Getting a 80 in a subject that too in ICSE is not considered to be a good mark by any standard. History, Civics & Geography, Mathematics and Computers helped to achieve that 95.8%. I could never have achieved these if it was not for my teachers. Thank you.

Later on I found that I was the topper in my school. Yahoooo!!!! But oops! I had to share my rank with another student (now this is another thing which I detest with my whole heart). So it came out in the papers the next day that I am the 10th topper of Jamshedpur (10th Rank? Well who are you?? ). Well it was the most wonderful moment in my life. Never before I felt so proud of myself. I had an expectation of 96.8% which I could not deliver. In spite of that I am happy. I am proud. This was my answer to my criticizers, to people who felt I was worthless. For many years I was underestimated, people rebuked me, insulted me but now I can hold my head high and say with pride, “I delivered.”

A line which is echoing in my head till now –

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same.”

This is just the starting. My entire Life awaits me.


5 thoughts on “A Bit of Pride

  1. “My marks clearly satisfied my parents and my immediate relatives but stopped shortly before my expectations.”
    ~ I know the feeling 🙂

    And thanks for the inspiration; recalling those lines,
    “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two imposters just the same.”

Please leave your reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s